I have felt like this all day.

This is a face of someone who is so apathetic. And so distanced from herself and her surroundings.



This is not who I really am.











Unfortunately, there really isn't much that I can do about any of this right now. More than absurd is the fact that I have a paper due in less than 12 hours. I have a job orientation in 8 hours. And I should sleep for at least 4 hours. But knowing me... I won't go to bed for another 45 minutes. I will rummage through old pictures, and cry.

I don't like feeling this way.
I don't like knowing that there is something wrong and I just have to

wait it out

for it to get better.


I will be alright.
But I must give myself time.
C'est la vie.


Yes.
Such is life.

are you ready for this?

i cant really say that i had a very productive day. it was more or less just a big jumbled mess of trying to figure myself out and decide what i really want out of my life. this life is so unpredictable and one thing that i am learning is to be grateful for spontaneity. it's hard enough as it is to not be positive in this world that is constantly changing.

i could honestly say that my life is going really well.
although i am really nervous about what is going to happen in the near future. i am ok with this. nothing is ever easy. nothing that you ever want is easy. i am so excited about the things that i want to do in the next 3-6 months.... i just need to know that what i'm doing is the right thing.

you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.


so...here goes.